So, here's what has been on my mind lately. I know no one (or almost no one) reads this blog, so I'm going to just be honest. Even if it hurts!
I have never before in my life wished I could go back in time and change the past. I have always felt that a person's past shapes who they are today and for better or worse, it's an important part of who we are. I've always believed in living with no regrets, making the best of what you've been given, and finding the good in even the worst situations. But recently, I have been wishing I had a time machine so I could go back in time about 4 years.
There would be decisions that we made (my husband and I) that I would want us to make differently... life-changing decisions! The decisions we made then are still haunting us now. Even when I think maybe we've finally made some good out of all that bad, it comes back to haunt us. I want to know if it will ever stop... can we ever have peace with this again? I know the answer... Of course we can, and that peace will only come from God! And yet, we still wait for it. I think Satan really wants to keep hitting us over the head with this one! It's starting to make me dizzy.
There's so much more to this, but I have no idea who reads this and I am afraid to say too much! I'm sick of thinking about this... maybe I'm hoping writing it all down will help me to stop dwelling on it. I don't know. Because of all that I've left out, I'm probably not making much sense.
Lord Jesus, give us peace... more than that, give my husband peace because if he has it, so will I! Bind Satan and his lies, his poking and prodding. Frankly, he doesn't have a difficult job because we do so much of this to ourselves. Turn our eyes and ears to focus You, our hearts to live and breath Your Word! Thank You for all you have done for us and for all that You are to us... You are our EVERYTHING!!!
In the Name of Jesus,
Amen!
