Saturday, July 16, 2011

If I could turn back time...

So, here's what has been on my mind lately. I know no one (or almost no one) reads this blog, so I'm going to just be honest. Even if it hurts!

I have never before in my life wished I could go back in time and change the past. I have always felt that a person's past shapes who they are today and for better or worse, it's an important part of who we are. I've always believed in living with no regrets, making the best of what you've been given, and finding the good in even the worst situations. But recently, I have been wishing I had a time machine so I could go back in time about 4 years.

There would be decisions that we made (my husband and I) that I would want us to make differently... life-changing decisions! The decisions we made then are still haunting us now. Even when I think maybe we've finally made some good out of all that bad, it comes back to haunt us. I want to know if it will ever stop... can we ever have peace with this again? I know the answer... Of course we can, and that peace will only come from God! And yet, we still wait for it. I think Satan really wants to keep hitting us over the head with this one! It's starting to make me dizzy.

There's so much more to this, but I have no idea who reads this and I am afraid to say too much! I'm sick of thinking about this... maybe I'm hoping writing it all down will help me to stop dwelling on it. I don't know. Because of all that I've left out, I'm probably not making much sense.

Lord Jesus, give us peace... more than that, give my husband peace because if he has it, so will I! Bind Satan and his lies, his poking and prodding. Frankly, he doesn't have a difficult job because we do so much of this to ourselves. Turn our eyes and ears to focus You, our hearts to live and breath Your Word! Thank You for all you have done for us and for all that You are to us... You are our EVERYTHING!!!

In the Name of Jesus,
Amen!

Monday, February 28, 2011

Life in a Box

So, here's what has been on my mind lately: I'm so glad I don't live in a box! No, this is not a post about homelessness (there may be a post or two about that in the future, but not today). I'm thinking more about a different plight that is infesting our society today.

It seems there are so many people today who, despite the fact that our world SHOULD be more "known" than ever before thanks to technology, are completely oblivious to things going on in the world around them. These are those people who believe everything they've always been taught without ever questioning or challenging a single thing. They live in their little bubbles and have only really ever experienced their own culture. By culture, I am referring less to American culture, but the various sub-cultures that make up America. These sub-cultures include rural, urban, suburban, church culture, racial cultures, and a wide variety of other sub-cultures than can be very, very different from one another.

The thing is, it's easier to live in a box! It's easier to never question... then there's no conflict. It's easier to never step outside of you comfort zone... then you never have to learn anything new or learn how to communicate in new ways. It's easier to never challenge even the religious teachings you've always believed... then you won't ever have to think and wrestle with theology. It's easier for things to just be "the way they've always been"... then you won't ever have to do the hard work involved in change.

So, the question I pose is this: Does God call us to live in a box?

Monday, December 20, 2010

Monday, September 20, 2010

Starting Over

So, it's be a WHILE since I blogged. I didn't mean to flake out on this, but let's face it, my life has been crazy these last few months! So, this post is titled "Starting Over" for a few reasons. First, I am starting over with this blog. I am changing the theme a bit. I think I limited myself too much before by making it only about Biblical reflections. Instead, I will be blogging about a multitude of things from parenthood to marriage, from work to home life, from Biblical reflections to humurous observations.

I am also in a stage of my life where I am starting over in so many ways. We have moved our family to a new town and state where we knew almost no one and had no family. My husband has gone from being a teacher to a student. I have gone from being a stay at home mom to (Lord willing) a mom with what I like to call a "second job." We are really beginning a completely new and different stage in our lives. It's exciting and scary at the same time!

I think we all come to points in our lives when starting over is a good thing! Sometimes we're just in a rut. Other times we need to start over because too many bad things have happened and if something doesn't change we'll just grow tired and bitter. Sometimes starting over is a choice, other times it is imposed upon us. No matter what, though, starting over can be an opportunity to grow, to learn and to walk more closely with our God!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Jonah 1:1-6

Jonah 1:1-6 (New Living Translation)

1 The LORD gave this message to Jonah son of Amittai: 2 “Get up and go to the great city of Nineveh. Announce my judgment against it because I have seen how wicked its people are.”
3 But Jonah got up and went in the opposite direction to get away from the LORD. He went down to the port of Joppa, where he found a ship leaving for Tarshish. He bought a ticket and went on board, hoping to escape from the LORD by sailing to Tarshish.
4 But the LORD hurled a powerful wind over the sea, causing a violent storm that threatened to break the ship apart. 5 Fearing for their lives, the desperate sailors shouted to their gods for help and threw the cargo overboard to lighten the ship.
But all this time Jonah was sound asleep down in the hold. 6 So the captain went down after him. “How can you sleep at a time like this?” he shouted. “Get up and pray to your god! Maybe he will pay attention to us and spare our lives.”


When I was thinking and praying about where to start with this blog, one book of the Bible kept coming back to me... Jonah! It was not a story that I really related to as a child and it seemed so fantastic that it was almost unreal. But it IS a story that I am understanding more and more as I get older. In fact, I've never related more to Jonah and his story!

Now I have to tell you that Jonah keeps coming back to me these days. The first time I really looked into Jonah was a couple of months ago when my husband and I were contemplating God's call in our lives. We were at a crossroads in life and didn't know which way to go. I prayed for guidance and God led me to Jonah. There He made it clear that He was comparing US to Jonah. I will get into this more later, but God was making it clear that He wanted us in ministry.

It didn't take long, though, for doubt to rear its ugly head. We began to wonder if this really was what God wanted for us. There was so much uncertainty and much waiting for the rest of His plan to be revealed, and it left open a lot of room for questioning God.

Yesterday, when I was knee deep in doubt, a reminder of God's faithfulness came from an unlikely source... my 2 year old son! He was telling me (in his 2 year old manner) all about the story he learned in Sunday School. And of course, it was Jonah! So we started to talk about it. As I explained the story, I was reminded of all that God had taught ME through Jonah!

Let's begin with these first 6 verses in Jonah. It begins with God's call to Jonah to go to Ninevah and tell the people there of God's impending judgment upon them for their wickedness. Jonah responds to the call by running away! And you know, who can't relate to that? Really! How many people do you know who would easily and enthusiastically rise to that occasion? Ninevah was both powerful and corrupt in some of the worst ways. In addition, I have to wonder if Jonah didn't like the thought that these wicked people might actually repent and receive God's forgiveness... maybe it didn't seem "fair" to a man who had been following God most of his life.

When Jonah ran, he fled as far in the opposite direction of Ninevah as he possibly could. How many times have we done this in our own lives? As for my husband and I, we can certainly relate. We had been called by God to go into ministry over 3 years ago. We made steps toward that goal, but it didn't take long for that fear to set in. So, we ran in a different direction and tried to stay with something that was "comfortable" for us, familiar. It ended up being a HUGE disaster!

For Jonah, that disaster took the form of a violent storm at sea. For us, it took the form of my husband being miserable at his new job where he was lied to over and over again and ridiculed for pointing out those lies. It eventually ended in him not being offered a contract for this year. It left us with anger and frustration that took some time to get over.

Jonah responded to his storm by falling into a deep sleep. We entered into a deep sleep of our own that included resentment, depression and confusion. As with Jonah, the storm we were going through was affecting those around us... our children, our parents and siblings and our friends lived through the storm with us. In Jonah's story the captain of the ship came to Jonah, woke him up and pleaded with him to call upon his God. I'm not exactly sure what woke us up, but eventually, we did and we began to seek God's help to get us out of the storm in our lives.

Is there a storm brewing in your life? Have you been running from God's call? Is your storm hurting those around you? Now is the time to wake up, take notice, and call out to God! He may take you back to the call that filled you with fear in the first place, but He will not leave you or forsake you as you live out His call!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Introduction

I have created this blog as a place for me to record my reflections on what I read in the Bible. It is basically my own personal devotions that I wish to record and keep here.... and if you happen to stop by and read it, then it is my prayer that God would use my words (along with His Word) to bless you, challenge you, and motivate you! I hope to being writing here soon, so stay tuned! I have to pray about where the Lord wants me to start, but I hope to be doing an exegetical study through one book of the Bible at a time (rather than a topical approach). So, here it goes.... you'll being hearing from me soon!



Becky